Are you worried about your behaviour?
Are you concerned about your behaviour in your current or
If your answer to this question is yes, please continue
Abuse is something that is said or done that hurts another
person. Abusive behaviour does not always mean physical violence.
You may be controlling in a range of ways, which include physical,
sexual, psychological, social or economic abuse or neglect of an
individual. Abuse doesn't just happen. Rather than being about loss
of control, as a lot of people think, most of the time it's about
you trying to be in control of the behaviour of your partner rather
than you being in control of your own behaviour.
Domestic abuse is a number of abusive behaviours, both physical
and non-physical, that may occur frequently or infrequently.
Domestic abuse is not a single event it usually takes place over
Am I being abusive?
If you have used any of the following behaviours towards your
partner or ex-partner, then realise that these behaviours are
This list is not complete there are many other behaviours that
are abusive (see What is Domestic Abuse for more information.)
You might have done some things only once or twice, but in many
cases you’ll notice that there is a pattern to the abusive things
you do. By making yourself more aware of your abusive behaviours it
will become easier to make changes.
Read the following list of abusive behaviours and think
carefully about your behaviour and relationship:
- Psychological & emotional abuse:
Calling your partner names, shouting at them, smashing things,
putting your partner down, standing over them, threatening to harm
them, threatening to harm the children, threatening to harm
yourself, controlling who they see, checking up on them
- Physical abuse:
Slapping-punching, hitting, pushing, kicking, grabbing, using a
weapon, strangling, choking.
- Economic abuse:
Restricting your partners access or use of resources such as money,
car and phone
Violence or threats of violence against your partner, children,
family, friends, pets or property.
- Sexual abuse:
Pressuring your partner, touching them against their will, forcing
sex against their will, sulking or punishing them for not having
sex, raping your partner, humiliating your partner
- Use of children:
Being violent or making threats of violence against children,
placing children into dangerous situations, forcing children to
participate in the abuse, fighting over custody or visitation,
repeated undermining of your partner’s parenting or making false
reports to Child Protection Services
- Post-separation abuse:
Making unwelcome contact by phone/text/letter/email/via
relatives/friends, waiting for your ex-partner outside their
home/workplace/children’s school without their agreement, checking
up on their movements in some way, for example looking them up on
Contact us: we want to help
It can be difficult to face up to problems and ask for help.
Support is available if you would like to change your
behaviour. Changing abusive behaviours is a long process and
there is no quick or easy solution. You may find it helpful to talk
to someone about your thoughts and behaviour.
In Worcestershire we have the Action for Change programme which
supports men to change their abusive behaviour. If you would
like to talk to someone about your situation and would like to find
out what support is available please contact the Stonham
Action For Change Programme (0845 155 0395).
You can also call Worcestershire's 24-hour Domestic Abuse
helpline (0800 980 3331) today to talk to someone in
Below are some links that may help you to recognise if your
behaviour is abusive:
This page was last reviewed 14 June 2013 at 14:44.
The page is next due for review 11 December 2014.